If i do... pls post a yes and leave ur name or reason why in the chat box... thnx...
Joke 1
5 important rules for men to lead on a happy life...
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Joke 2
The correct way to come home drunk....man this is nice guys....
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says,
" You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late.
His friend looks at him and says " Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!! " and she acts like she's sound asleep!
Works Every Time.
Joke 3
LOL...this is cool....DO U NOE ME??? HAHAHA...
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!" His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?"
"No", she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher".
Joke 4
HAHA...this oso nice ....
A very loud, unattractive, acidic-acting woman walks into the Warehouse with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Warehouse Security dude says, "Good morning and welcome to the Warehouse .... nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"
"Ahhh, No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
Joke 5
LOL....NICE for computer freaks....enjoy!
Dear Tech Support, I need your computer advice as a friend is having trouble with his system.
Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he'd used for years without trouble.
However, apparently there are conflicts between these two systems, the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend with the sound turned off, but to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as; Lads Night Out 3.1,Golf 2 and Playboy 6.0.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 has many Bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware. Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancee. 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2000.
But imagine my friends disappointment on discovering that not only can Wife 1.0 be unstable and costly to maintain, but also that any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hardrive and can not be deleted. They then re-surface months later .
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter, and automatically runs UltraSTROP and WINGE.zip. No option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and guess the fault himself.
The system footprint needs updating regularly requiring Shoeshop browserPro for new attachments - Hairstyle express needs to be reinstalled every week. It also refused some of the new Games and attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an Illegal operation.
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Car 1.0 it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently he's been tempted to try Mistress Millennium add-on, but we have heard there could be problems.
If wife 1.0 detects the presence of mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.
Is this a common problem?
SMILE GUYS! : )
不放照片了，放几个笑话让你们看看。。蛮刁的。。笑一笑吧。
笑话1 （ 5 星！！！！）
有一天小明手上打着石膏，
老师问：你的手怎么了
小明说：断掉了
老师说：为什么？
小明说：因为我太懒了
老师说：太懒手会断？
小明说：我走在路上，鞋子跑进一颗石头，
可是我懒的用手弄，
就抱着电线杆抖着脚让石头掉出来，
路人看了以为我触电就用木棍打我的手
所以.................
老师：............
笑话2
陪朋友打的去见一个网友，
快到的时候，
朋友指着不远处一个奇丑无比的女孩对司机说：
“看到那个女的了吗？”
“看到了，在那儿停？”
“不，撞死她！！！”
笑话3
一对男女偷情，丈夫突然回家，男的没顾穿衣服就跳窗逃跑，走在大街上路上围观，男的装着若无其事看天：啊，这就是地球呀。路人说：操，装鸡毛外星人。
笑话4
我上铺痛经很严重，
每次到周期都要卧床休息。
我们这些室友就坐在她床边一边照顾她一边聊天。
一次她痛得受不了，
说要做手术把子宫切除了，
反正她也不想要孩子。
我们就在罗列子宫切除后的好处。
除了再也不用痛经，
A说还可以节省卫生巾的钱，
B说可以节省买套套的钱，
C说更不用花大钱做人流了……
轮到最后一个，
她想了半天，
说，
切下来的子宫我们可以炒着吃，应该挺补的……
笑话5（ 5 星！！）
有一栋楼有四层，
每一层都住了个怪人，
第一层的喜欢吃小黄瓜，
第二层的喜欢把房间染成绿色，
第三层的喜欢在阳台小便，
第四层的喜欢耍大刀。
有一天四楼的耍大刀不小心刀掉下去了，
刚好三楼的要小便，结果切断了，
掉到二层，被染成绿色，
掉到一楼，
最后被当成小黄瓜吃掉了。
笑话6
乌龟受伤.让蜗牛去买药。过了2个小时.蜗牛还没回来。乌龟急了骂道:他妈的再不回来老子就死了!这时门外传来了蜗牛的声音:你他妈再说老子不去了
笑话7
一天，茄子走在大街，忽然打了一个很大的喷嚏。它抹了把鼻涕生气地说：“可恶！又有人拍集体照了！”
没了。。哈哈。。hope can cheer u guys up for the day! Cheers!
Lets PARTY！！！ where's my banana!!!??
Chill man....this is nice..
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